Nathan Feuerstein, better known as NF, has been quiet for the past two years — a common thing for artists after releasing an album or finishing a tour. Yet, on November 14th, NF came back hard with his EP release, FEAR. The album surprised me and destroyed me in different ways. Let me explain exactly what I thought when I listened through. Buckle up, because I have quite a bit to say!
The song “FEAR” opens with the line “hello darkness, my old friend”.
Given NF’s long-standing struggle with depression, the EP immediately chills with a soft voice whispering back a “hello”. The album’s cover depicts a burning mansion — the same shown on the cover of his 2015 debut studio album, Mansion. It seems Nate has returned full-circle to a space of internal conflict after a decade trying to shake his darkness, like when he released HOPE in 2023.
In the track, ‘Dark Nate’ didn’t just knock at the door; he demanded entry. Instead of resisting, keeping the doors locked and the darkness shut out, NF admits “I’m desperate”, suggesting he doesn’t have the strength to fight back. But, once Nate gives in, the tone of the music shifts.
Instead of the aggressive intensity associated with his earlier albums, the instrumentation becomes bolder and even a bit folky. It’s similar to NF’s HOPE album, one that details the pursuit of healing; it has that same adventurous feeling although it seems that the waves that once carried Nate towards hope are now tossing him backward toward despair in the title track.
Nate mentions his OCD has worsened — a disorder first acknowledged in 2019’s ‘The Search’.
He questions whether he might be schizophrenic, because the darkness has become so loud that he feels as though he hears and sees things no one else does. A particularly important line is when he says “even writin’ this is makin’ me begin to spiral”… like the mere act of acknowledging the darkness makes it worse.
He then confronts his own hypocrisy, calling himself out for making false promises — to himself and to his fans — as he falls back into the same patterns. Nate then asks the audience if they are disappointed in him. If you watch the music video, he washes his hands, imagery that made me think of Matthew 27:34… Pontius Pilate’s symbolic act saying, “I wash my hands of this.” Nate appeares to be doing the same, attempting to cleanse himself of the shame. The verse ends with darkness taking control; a metaphor of being a puppet on strings tells listeners that Nate no longer feels he has authority over his own decisions.
This begs the question, are his thoughts his own?
Is the darkness speaking through him? NF cries out to God for help, acknowledging that he can’t overcome this on his own. The lines “face your fears // dry your eyes” immediately gets rebuked with reasons why he shouldn’t, reciting everything he’s lost: hope, will, joy, friends, home, faith, and even his voice. He’s lost his agency and identity. When the song shifts into the second section, its sound again changes: a distorted, glitch-like effect induces something of a warped reality for the listener. The instrumentation became sparse, mainly piano, giving a reflective, unsettling feel. Nate describes standing before his burning mansion, holding a gas can, asking God whether he started the fire.
Has Nate destroyed his inner world? If so, did darkness drive him to it? Why did God allow it? NF wonders if this destruction might be connected to the loss of his hopes and dreams, questioning whether he ever truly found peace — or only a false version of it. As I went through the album, I noticed NF repeatedly challenges if enough material success, personal achievement, and emotional progress could fully satisfy a human heart. Is there ever genuine peace or satisfaction? Or is everything built destined to collapse?
There’s always something to be “on the edge” about.
The recent death of Nate’s grandmother surely deepened this despair, leaving him feeling as though he has nothing left to fight for. All of this brings him to ask of the void: “Is this what you wanted?” What’s most interesting here is NF’s tone: there’s no embedded anger, no blame — only exhaustion. This is not the combative Nate of earlier albums; this is a defeated Nate, one running on empty. By the end of the music video (see below!), the doom-like interlude is a visual descent into the darkness: a dark figure looms over ‘White Nate’, claiming victory.
NF – “FEAR” official video
“HOME” is the second track on FEAR and, while the title track briefly references the death of Nate’s grandmother, this song fleshes this out more thoroughly. Opening with stripped-down, folky instrumentation, the song has a slightly brighter emotional feel. The lyrics reveal Nate in the denial stage of grief, saying “this doesn’t feel real to me”, not being able to fathom a life without his grandmother. To cope, he speaks as though his grandma is still alive: planning to call her, to leave voicemails, to show up for visits. These aren’t just memories; these are refusals to accept a loved one lost.
A significant line comes up at the end of the chorus, when NF says “you’re not home here anymore // you’re at another home”. Since Nate is a Christian (and, presumably, so was his grandmother), this is certainly a reference to heaven. She may no longer be in her earthly home, but she is now in an eternal one with God.
The second verse continues the theme of coping and reminiscence.
Nate recalls specific moments shared with his grandmother, such as playing cards and running around on M-61 in Gladwin. As the song approaches its final chorus, something subtle yet important happens: the music cuts out, leaving only Nate’s voice and the occasional strum of a chord. This lack of instrumentation creates a moment of emotional clarity. Whether it represents acceptance of her death or the painful realization of its finality, the silence gives weight to NF’s words. Given that “FEAR” establishes his grandmother’s passing as a major emotional blow, “HOME” is directed toward her, specifically. When these two songs are paired back-to-back, her death represents a key turning point for Nate’s descent back into his darker, more destructive self.
NF – “HOME” (audio)
Then comes track three, “WHO I WAS”. It’s a particularly interesting collaboration, because of the cultural context that surrounds the artists involved. Nate has been compared to Eminem throughout his entire career… something he acknowledges, given Eminem was one of his biggest influences. Because of that, the choice to collaborate with Machine Gun Kelly (mgk) — who publicly clashed with Eminem for years — surprises me.
Nate, on the other hand, has never been the type to let public opinion dictate his choices; he prioritizes talent, authenticity, and character over industry politics. With that in mind, his decision to include mgk starts to make sense. Musically, the track aligns with the album’s overall folky direction, opening with soft, arpeggiated guitar that offers a nostalgic, reflective feel… like driving through open fields, sitting in the back of a truck.
Not ‘country’, per se, but rooted in rural simplicity.
The song begins with a heavily textured voice in the background, echoing the imagery introduced in the title track of “ash and dust”. Nate’s mansion is burning down, analogy representing the destruction of everything he’s built. Machine Gun Kelly opens the first verse, talking about feeling lost and emotionally scattered. His delivery is nearly nonstop, almost freestyle, with rapid, uninterrupted flows. This breathless pacing implies internal chaos; his “scattered heart” speaks to identity crisis. Scripturally, this reminds me of Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things” and mgk’s metaphors are proof. Acting on your emotional mind only leads to fragmentation, confusion, and becoming completely lost. Mgk expresses longing for guidance, acknowledging having walked away from God for years.
Yet, God remains willing to forgive, lead, and restore. His entire verse essentially became a testimony that every worldly pursuit fails in the end, leading to a chorus with a glitch in the middle of it. This shift in production style — with instrumentation dropping to just piano — creates an empty, lonely, yet hopeful feel. It’s like someone sitting alone in a dark room or a closet, overwhelmed and trying to calm themselves down, perhaps, a closet in the proverbial “mansion” in NF’s mind.
The difference between mgk’s frantic flow and Nate’s more deliberate pacing is absolutely intentional.
Mgk’s section represents mental chaos; Nate’s is the calm after the storm… the quiet moment when a person stops and takes a breath after a breakdown. The verse shows Nate stepping back mentally, recognizing the anger he’s displayed, and immediately worrying about how his children see him now. The verse then references his wife, Bridgette, in the line: “I need you and I love you to death”, spelling out how he and his wife have navigated this pattern for years as an ongoing effort to grow into a calmer, more grounded person (and husband).
NF – “WHO I WAS”, feat. mgk (audio)
The music briefly drops out at this point before the verse restarts, with lyrics repeating the need to slow down and regulate. One of the most interesting musical choices in this track is its lyrical repetition; it resembles a psychological grounding technique of repeating a calming phrase until an emotional storm has settled. The song ends by cuting off abruptly, mid-idea, representative of a major breakthrough; it’s as if Nate’s chanting has reached a moment of clarity — the emotional equivalent of sunshine. It could also be a way of Nate compartmentalizing to forget what’s happened in order to get back to equilibrium as quickly as possible. Whatever the cause, the result is composure.
“GIVE ME A REASON” is, by far, the most aggressive track on the album.
The rest of the EP leans heavily into a calm demeanor, while this song is a deliberate callback to classic NF attitude — intense, volatile, and raw. The opening keys sound almost like an organ although the effects make it more like a horror film score… unsettling, edgy, and dark. Nate’s no longer feeling defeated. In “FEAR”, NF seems to have given into depression; in “GIVE ME A REASON”, Nate’s ready to fight it. Two verses consist almost entirely of Nate listing forgotten drivers to push himself forward out of the darkness — every frustration, every pressure point. He also notes he’s forgotten what struggling feels like, which can be interpreted two ways: either he’s numb to feeling anything — including strife — or he feels his success has distanced him from hardship. Perhaps he needs criticism at this point in life, begging listeners to “tell me I’m worse than Eminem”. After spending so long insisting he didn’t need outside validation, he now is directionless without it.
NF – “GIVE ME A REASON” (audio)
A question posed by Lacey Sturm provides a strong interpretive framework for the next track, “SORRY”: if you could have one more day before a fallout with someone you love, knowing the outcome would still be the same, how would you spend that last day? NF’s collapse of a friendship in “SORRY” is leaving a lingering ache of wishing he could have handled things differently… The problem being that some bridges, once burned, cannot be repaired.
Throughout the song, NF expresses a desire for reconciliation.
Nate repeats that he was waiting: waiting for the other person to call, waiting for a chance to speak again, waiting for the possibility of a restored connection. The second verse includes a line with the help of James Arthur: “But that’s what everybody says when it’s too late to fix a bridge that’s burned.” This begs the question if people apologize out of selfishness to feel better or out of concern for the other person. But that’s the thing about regret… it’s not just about the relationship ending; it’s about failing to realize what mattered before the damage was done.
NF – “SORRY”, feat. James Arthur (audio)
Which leads us to the last song on the EP, “WASHED UP”. Opening with a choir, the track sounds intentionally aged, almost like an old vinyl or antique radio recording. While it does not have the folky tone like the majority of the album, it still has embedded nostalgia for something simply unattainable today. This sets the stage for NF’s introspection, questioning where the his old self has gone? The Nate who was driven, not worried about others’ opinions, and unwavering in confidence. He’s worried about public perception again — something he used to pride himself on ignoring. Now, NF is taking criticism more personally and the shift scares him.
At one point, he even suggests that if he cannot find that previous version of himself again; he might as well stop making music, since he isn’t being real if he writes without feeling. A lot of the song mentions a spiritual tension, with NF feeling on the brink of something great or something disastrous; it’s a crossroads many believers in Christ face when enduring a period of hardship. Are you delusional for persisting? Or does endurance eventually reveal purpose?
Wrestling with uncertainty, NF hopes he isn’t “WASHED UP”.
As the song continues, soft strings enter, bringing with them a feeling of sadness to match the weight of his thoughts. It’s like NF has come to a reckoning of identity and purpose. Within a Christian framework, he acknowledges that — apart from Christ — he has nothing, calling out explicitly “I’m nothin’ without the Father’s guidance”. Despite this, Nate clings to the small bits of his identity left as he spells out the fragility of fame — “one wrong move” can destroy everything. Anxiety-ridden, he admits he’s misused his gifts, he’s grown complacent, he’s fallen out of reality.
Toward the end of the song, Nate asks himself once more “why” he’s doing all of this before a sharp stop in vocals while the music continues on for another 20 seconds. This could suggest sinking into emotional darkness, continuing to think internally rather than out loud. The unresolved ending leaves listeners hoping NF finds his way at long last. Guess we have to wait till the next album to find out.
NF – “WASHED UP” official video
FEAR showcases NF taking a new approach to his music, deciding to keep the feeling light and the subject matter heavy. Earlier, I did say that this album emits the feel of nostalgia, of NF returning to his old self. Yet, the new direction in the EP is still real and raw. At Nate’s core, he’s honest. He managed to not only lyrically stay true to himself, but also musically. NF might think he’s taken many steps backwards, but in his music, I would argue otherwise. Choosing a different vibe is progress. Choosing to sing in a majority of his songs is an evolution. Choosing a different producer to work with is taking a chance. As a man of consistency and given his OCD, FEAR evidences so much growth, so much light in the darkness. Keep finding your light, Nate!
Track listing:
- FEAR
- HOME
- WHO I WAS, feat. mgk
- GIVE ME A REASON
- SORRY, feat. James Arthur
- WASHED UP
Stream ‘Fear’ EP:
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Disclaimer: All views presented in this album review are those of the reviewer and not necessarily those of Top Shelf Music.
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